Our current sublet is basically my dream apartment.... minus a mattress on the floor bed. Some days ... when I'm waiting for a package or for cat food to be delivered... I spend nearly the entire day at home. Because it's the ideal New York flat. Whatever you picture a New York Artist's studio looking like, this is it.
I would love to have met a few good friends already that I could meet for coffee or wander around a new street with or get up the nerve to actually enter one of those galleries that just have one person staring blankly out the window in art-filled solitude with (note: since writing this Jesse and I got up the nerve and had the loveliest morning last Saturday gallery hopping) . Or just to swing by to have a cup of coffee and a gluten free doughnut from Babycakes (Thank you Becky for telling me about it!!!) on my fire escape. Or to slyly get a bag of Bellocq tea from the coffee shop around the corner (it has some serious sanitation issues... and that's coming from someone who is unphased by gross things normally. But I figured out that if you order a cup of hot tea they keep the bag of loose leaf in it. Then you order a cup of ice to go.Then you get home and pour it into the ice and into another cup till it's chilled... don't forget to set the bag aside for your cup tomorrow. Boom.... a very complicated cup of iced tea for the rooftop and warm tea for tomorrow afternoon.) and drink ice tea and sunbathe and read silently together on the roof. Or someone to experiment with watching random French movies on Netflix with. Someone who likes to come to me mostly instead of me coming to them... cause that's just better for me.
We were texting the other day, Chelle, and you summed that whole paragraph up in one sentence without even knowing I had written this the day before! You said, <<It's nice to just be able to be and I miss being able to just be>>. So basically we both miss that.
All my close friends are scattered around the Pacific Northwest with one notable one down in California. We are about as far away as we can be from each other so any time we see each other we don't get the chance to "just be" ... It's always a grab coffee and a glimpse situation.
Thankfully the most important friend just moves with me where ever I go... so the situation is not exactly dire and I was the one who deserted everyone else (except for you, Mia.... you moved first).
We also have found a wonderful church that we think will be our home church here and have been welcomed in with open arms.... not literally... I don't like hugging... but I don't mind not feeling like everyone at the church resents us for showing our faces in their private club! So I'm very sure friends will come here soon. But all you West Coast friends, we miss you always!
Jesse and I have been discussing making friends and, contrary to popular thought, we have decided that it's actually easier to make friends as a married couple for many reasons. You have an automatic wingman who thinks you're the absolute best friend anyone could ever wish for (and, for those jerks who disagree with you, have someone to lick your wounds with... don't carry that metaphor too far). You can talk to either gender and not have them wonder if you are hitting on them. You have a safety net if you don't want the intensity of the one on one conversations. You have someone to hang out with for the times you get stood up (hey, it happens to the best of us). You don't seem so desperate...etc. Now most people get stuck on how you have to find other couple friends and what ifs like: what if the girls don't like each other (valid fear... very valid). But we have never limited ourselves to couple friends. In fact, most of our friends in Chicago were not couples... a perk of marrying young, you don't get lumped into the boring married stereotype as much. Also, we have very similar taste in people (It makes sense based on our mutual Meyers-Briggs results) so we nearly always agree on the couples we like. Sure, couple friends may never evolve into one on one friendships but that's fine by me, because one on one type friends that I actually get along with are very very rare.
While we wait for new friendships to evolve I spend beautiful days like this one in my favorite company (except for Jesse) of myself! ... and cat (he and I are having a rough day... he won't give me any privacy in the bathroom or changing or doing yoga... he likes to bite my calf????... and when I take him for a walk he's such an ingrate. Cats, man. I mean, he has his moments and is pretty good company usually. Everyone has off day(s)). It's like last summer in LA... days and days can go by with me talking to no one but myself (...and cat) until Jesse gets home. And frankly, I'm a great conversationalist when I'm talking to me so I love it.
Also today I got to talk to a local barista and bond over our mutual dislike of Intellegensia coffee (sorry Chicago, but you have so many better options... Dark Matter, Metropolis... and, I haven't had it yet but cannot wait to try, Metric) and said barista gave me my coffee for free and made me sample his Japanese Iced Coffee... he may be winning me over but so far I think it's a blah trend. I like my iced coffee all velvet and chocolate (he thinks cold brew is just day old... we, oh so respectfully, disagreed with each other). I like that kind of friendship... I also met a lovely lady while walking the cat... she's an artist and has lived in LES for "hundreds of years" and knows everyone. She introduced me to a carnie that's lived here in LES for forever as well and works out at Coney Island and a young guy my age who she met while my back was turned at the laundromat.... sure, she's introducing me as Boris, but Boris definitely has less of a ditz connotation than my name so maybe it's ok!
Meanwhile, I (we) plan and plot how to get you, Chelle, and all our other West Coasters to at least visit New York. We already succeeded in convincing Charles (my cousin) to move here... less than a month now!!!... though, frankly, he was ridiculously easy to convince! Where's the fun in that? Well the fun is him being our built in friend, I suppose!