It's started. The lists. Top 2012... And I love it! Today I was listening to 107.7 the end and they are playing the 107 songs that made the end famous. Here's that list. I heard this song and just loved it. And par usual- it got me thinking.
With New Years right around the corner there will be the yearly group of us who have put all our hope in another fresh start. I am a perennial gym joiner. Every January 1st there are a good three or four resolutions to start out the New Year and at 7am I'll be at the gym. That lasts for a week or maybe two. Somehow by making a lists of Do's and Don't I feel like I can finally control what seems to be the never ending chaoticness of life. Then when I miss a beat I throw out that year's resolutions and wait for next January 1. It's a vicious cycle.
It pains me to even write this- but I'm learning to let it go. Yes it would be nice if life fit into lists and check boxes. If everything worked and could be finished at the end of a day. Is that how life has ever worked for anyone? Not that I know of. But that expectation is always there.
People keep asking me what I feel like I've learnt over the past three months. It's a very irritating question to be asked- especially since I feel like if I knew the answer all this would go away and I could snap my fingers and make everything go back to working in it's usual way.
I think though there is one thing that sticks out - and it's to be present. I've had so much free time and for the first time in my life I sit down with people unhindered by timelines, deadlines, and a list of what to do next- I was a very busy 7 year old let me tell you.
How does that tie into resolutions... and this song? Well I think it's easy to waste so much time planning, worrying and thinking about what's next that you miss the things right in front of you. It's something you've always taught me B, and something I've never quite mastered.
It's the little rituals of the day such as getting ready, drinking coffee, stopping to chat for a minute. Those are the things that I rush through and miss in my attempt to finally arrive.
That doesn't mean I'll give up the New Year's resolutions. It means when I break them it's not the end of the world. Life goes on. And salvation isn't a yearly ritual that arrives January 1. But I can enjoy and look forward to lists, making them, crossing them off- just not getting lost in them.
Anyway this poem/song may not be completely accurate but I really liked it. I think you will too, except for the sunscreen. I've never worn sunscreen. Also I apologize for the chorus.